The Complete Guide to Understanding, Controlling, and Stopping Bullies & Bullying by Margaret R. Kohut & MSW

Author:Margaret R. Kohut & MSW
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: bullying, bullies, stop, guide, teachers, parents, students, school, behavior, violence, bully, bully-free
Publisher: Atlantic Publishing Group Inc.
Published: 2013-04-10T04:00:00+00:00

Talk About the Hippo

Among psychotherapists, the analogy of the hippo in the living room is frequently used to help break down the denial of a problem and acknowledge that something needs to be done about the problem. This vignette involves the presence of a baby hippo in a family’s living room. This would be a problem for most families. However, when a family member has a secret that is never talked about, it becomes a hippo in the living room. The more the hippo is surrounded by silence and denial, the more it grows into a very large hippo. Naturally, this large hippo makes a terrible mess, but no one says anything about it. Once a family member says, “Hey, what are we going to do about this messy hippo in our living room?” then the denial either strengthens – “What hippo? I don’t see any hippo. You’re nuts.” Or the hippo’s presence must be acknowledged and dealt with. When a child is bullied, is a bully, or is a bystander in bullying, this very large hippo must be dealt with via head-on communication. It is the adult’s responsibility to calmly but thoroughly respond to the child’s disclosure, offer understanding and validation, and let the child know that this hippo will soon be vacating the child’s living room.

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